Thursday, July 28, 2005

Volare, Voltaire, Volatile!

Dean Martin - You're Nobody Till Somebody Loves You.mp3
Dean Martin - Return To Me.mp3
Dean Martin - Volare.mp3

Disclaimer: It should be noted that I have recently discovered shamelessness, and now, favour the maudlin, kitsch-laden and slightly nostalgic in all things. Pity me and my lack of taste. Thanks!

For a couple of weeks prior to my friend's Derek wedding, I had brushed on my Dean Martin - his nuances, his sleeves-rolled-up handling a highball charisma, his eyebrow positioning, his unique sense of humour and carefree attitude towards life, and those damn roasts (which were, apparently, filmed in over 12 hour shots - sometimes roaster and roastee weren't even on the same coast, much less the same room, and everyone just acted drunk after the booze wore off) - in preparation for delivering a roast for the reception. The night before the wedding I took a chlonazepam to put myself to sleep, heeding not my co-workers warning that half of one made her drool out of the side of her mouth and miss her metro stop, and awoke to find that, not only was I completely unstressed, I was also stumbling a lot. 'Perfect,' I thought to myself, 'this is like a god-damn Dean Martin pill.' The wedding came to pass, a lovely event, planned perfectly by Jessica (the bride) and Derek (the groom) - as inviting to their friends as their family, and enjoyable.

Twenty minutes prior to my stage-moment, I realized, after questioning by the groom's youngest brother, a terminally-hyper and a shade nerdy 14 year old, that I had nothing at all prepared. I sat down, a bit tipsy from actual booze this time, penned something, and ended up delivering an anecdote about a shared birthday party of mine and Melissa (who did duty as half-best man at this wedding) a couple of years back when Derek boozily faced up to the police and ended up in the drunk-tank. I compared him to some famous civil rights warriors and what not and finished the anecdote with a toast, to what I assume was nervous laughter from the crowd, realizing, in hindsight, that my speech was a lot more Stuart McLean (CBC's Vinyl Cafe) than Dean Martin. Oh well, shouldn't be much more of those in my future!

In honour of that wedding and Dean-o, here are some tracks to tide you over until the Swervedriver's up.


MEL said...


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