Saturday, February 28, 2004

Montreal En Lumiere

...And of course there are the numerous events going on tonight, most of them free, as part of the Montreal En Lumiere Festival - including free short films at the NFB Cinema on St. Denis, a free party at Club Soda, free films at Ex-Centris, and the free breakfast at 150 St. Catherine St West.
Montreal En Lumier

Diamond as big as the Ritz...

Yes, yes, Montreal - I hear the repeated cries of "no more drinking!" echoing throughout telephone conversations, in Metro cars, buses and cafes throughout the city. Reading break has indeed been one gigantic and boozy blur, kicked off by a number of house parties on Saturday night, in which roving Anglophone kids took to the streets, hitting as many parties and all ending up at the final dance party by Desjardins, DJed by Mark Slatzky... Other days followed - drinking on weekdays - a perfect time to take advantage of the Tuesday night or Wednesday night specials, to drink uninhibited, knowing one wouldn't be enduring a hangover in a fourth year crit. theory class. By the time we've reached Friday, it's too much to ask - there are putrid yellow rings around our pupils and we've smoked far too much, but we go out anyway. By Saturday night, there's no need to convince us - we're too far gone, and there's little we can do but give in to the pressure to imbibe. In that case, here's a suggestion...

The Collapse of Pavilion

The lovable little one-month space, founded by Robin Simpson and Maryse Larivière, is caving in, packing up and taking off for Berlin at some point in the near future. Come celebrate, but don't expect bubbly, they've only got mixed vodka drinks and Boreal.
Saturday, February 28th 9pm - ?
1206 St. Laurent

Friday, February 20, 2004

Saturday Afternoon: Catch the Flag.

This Saturday afternoon, treat your senses right and buy yourself a bottle of Colt 45. If you don't like the taste of warm pee, I will suggest Extra Old Stock, which is a favorite of mine but seemingly nobody else's. Anyways, grab your 40 firmly with both hands and make your way down to the VAG (Vancouver Art Gallery) at 3pm for a rousing game of Catch the Flag. Meet by the Robson Street side and make sure to wear a pair of comfortable shoes - supposedly there are free giveaways and lots of fun to be had - Won't it be nice to smell some fresh air for a change?

Trading One Evil For Another.

I saw this article linked in someone's blog today I thought it was interesting. A few days ago a friend and I were discussing the downward spiral that Adbusters magazine seems to be taking and now I am making a post about it. Funny how that works!

I haven't actually bought a copy since last April and even back then, the difference between that issue and the first one I ever purchased (the yellow one with mickey mouse on the cover, probably about 4 or 5 years ago) is sad, to say the least. I know alot of people still like to read and support the magazine on a regular basis but I just feel that the magazine has become really ineffective to the point of being irritating, with articles written by people who seem more interested in coining clever phrases (this month: war porn!) than they do in making a statement. With the dawning of the adbusters produced running shoe, I think things can only go from annoying to ignorant.

Change the world, buy a sneaker? Maybe if they came in hot pink.

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

My Liver Hates Me.

Hi kids. So I know it's only Wednesday but I'm about ready to start my weekend, how about you? I haven't had a drink in two days and my liver is dancing circles of joy. Tonight though, I think I'm just gonna 'giver like the dudes in Fubar, if you happen to see a small asian girl doing handstands on Granville Street later on in the evening, come over and say hello, I can guarantee that that girl will be me. If you are a reader from the Vancouver area, you should probably stop by the DV8 lounge and sit back to the weekly musical stylings of Mar and Kayla - sure they're only vinyl monkeys (and local celebrities?!) but oh darling, what fine ones they are! I should mention that Mar's birthday was last weekend (Valentine's Day) and we spent alot of time doing bad things at the Astoria (see photo above) and if you happen to run into her on the street sometime soon, ask her why she chose to walk around sans-underwear for a good part of the night. Trust me, she probably won't remember but it'll be fun none the less.

Anyways, so DV8 is a favorite place of mine thanks in part to the dirt cheap drinks and pretty as all hell martini's - order a Jungle Boogie if you can, I know it's hard to let those words roll off your tongue without feeling like an ass (say it with me; "Juuuuungle-Boooogie!") but really, I promise it's going to be worth it. Also, for the alcoholics, I will mention that the Met in Gastown (Abbott & Water st) features $2 pints of beer every day of the week and come on guys, I'm not even talking about the cheap shit, I'm talking about quality brew for the price of a bus ride!

Also, This Friday, the fine Miss Hana will be hosting a Nirvana Tribute show at Pats Pub, you should pick up your dignity and dirty plaid shirts from the corner of your bedroom and make your way down Hastings because I'm sure it's going to be fantastic. Also on Friday will be a performance from The Robosexuals, Threedots and Bel Riose - It's at the Cobalt and that means cheap beer!

Monday, February 16, 2004

"Blaine, the Australian boogie boarder..."

Victoria ex-patriates rejoice! Drinko-Bingo becomes Broken Hearted Bingo this Wednesday at Pharmacie Esperanza... I believe the event is hosted by Jenny and Carlin (50/50 alumni), with Spencer providing the tasteful theme music stylings on the organ. If this is anything like the last event I attended there, Arlen will lead a pack of us to Syndrome down the street to dance to early to mid-90's alternative hits and get as much of the remaining $1 glasses of beer as our stomachs can handle...

"Prizes include: Gift basket from Come as you are, Candies by Camilla, an all expenses paid movie date with Mr. Wozzle, undies from Elle Corazon, and as usual a mystery prize! Plus free booze for winners..."

Warren Hill (formerly of Radio Berlin) and Jason will be DJing the Last Chance For Romance Danceparty afterwards.

9pm sharp, Wednesday, February 18th
5490 St. Laurent (& St. Viateur)

Not Eyeless Covet, Nor Thin-lip'd Envy, Nor Bristled Wrath, Nor Curled Wantonness

...A lot of wine/port/beer at Clunybar (located in the Quartier Ephemere and 8 more bottles afterwards, and this GoldkicksMontreal staffer was staggering through the side-streets of Old Montreal at 5am on Saturday morning looking for a cab with a friend, somewhat aware that the next day would be spent alternating between feeling nauseous and being crippled by an immense headache. And such it was, so I did the only thing I could do in such a situation - bought the Globe & Mail, drank some peach nectar, made an Avacado & Camembert sandwich and went for a series of walks throughout the neighbourhood until it was time to drink again...

The weekly VAV Gallery vernissage happens on Tuesday evening. Get to the corner of Rene Levesque & Crescent at about 7 or 8pm for the usual cheep bottles of beer.

"But the mainstream prostitution base, you know, they're -- I mean not literally, they're you and me."

As the Sex Slaves of America controversy careens forward (Jack Schafer responds to the initial NYT article by Peter Landesman, interviewed here on CNN), Canada's media producers weighed in on the issue last night, with an episode of The Eleventh Hour (CTV's paltry response to CBC's far more wickedly intelligent and humourous "The Newsroom") entitled "Cowboy."

When five women die in a mysterious blaze, Dennis goes after the head of a Russian sex slave ring; Isobel and Kamal meet a seriously disfigured boy set to receive a face transplant.

I was bored, I watched it, God help me. There's nothing more pathetic than watching a Canadian television show try to steal the maniacal neo-Godardian East Coast camera work feel of "Law & Order" or "NYPD Blue" as well as the dry CBC cynicism of "The Newsroom" and fail miserably at it. Seat-of-the-pants journalists, sexual tension in the backroom, exploitative journalistic practice, and a dead cameraman at the end.

Saturday, February 14, 2004

Jewish Scenesters = Heebsters!!

Inspired by Jay's post about Heebs Magazine, I thought I would call attention to a fairly new Friendster-Esque website that has recently been brought to my attention.Frumster is the world's first electronic dating service exclusively for Orthodox Jewish singles worldwide. The site goes on to say that "Whether you are Modern Orthodox, Religious Zionist, Yeshivish, Haredi, or just plain shomer Mitzvot, Frumster is the place to find your match!"

Signing up is a difficult process though, the registration questions are heavy and range from asking your age to what Hashkafa you belong to. Frequency of Torah study and frequency of tefilah are also important in snagging the right Jewish boy so get cracking kids, it's Valentine's Day and everybody needs some loving.

Friday, February 13, 2004

Heeb Magazine isn't as prominently displayed as one would imagine on Montreal news-stands, and I finally caught a glimpse of a copy at a newsstand in Vancouver, only to discover upon returning that all copies had sold out within a couple of hours. A new issue will be available on Wednesday, February 25th, and one presumes that a certain amount of space will be dedicated to "The Passion of Christ," Mel Gibson's latest addition to the fine tradition of Aramaic filmmaking (the three previous works in the canon include "Fallen," starring Denzel Washington; "Stigmata," with Patricia Arquette; and the 1991 film "Rocky Mountains," starring Leanna Foxxx of "FaceSitter 2").

"...Meets the budget of Geist Magazine"

Pine Magazine is a new three-times-a-year publication started by Emily Horne and Mike Lecky (formerly of Forget Magazine), that (according to the photos on the website) must publish from the kitchen of an house that I onced lived in a year and a half ago from Victoria. The reader is told to anticipate a magazine that recalls "the Canada-wide ubiquity of Saturday Night" meeting "the idiosyncrasies of McSweeney’s" meeting "the glossy hipster appeal of high end fashion magazines like Nylon."

Well, despite a difference of opinion on how "high-end" Nylon magazine is (Mandy Moore on the cover?) and my questioning if the ubiquitousness of this magazine will be primarily the result of it being stuffed in the weekend edition of the National Post, I'm venturing that it will at least be worth the price of admission and worth keeping around the coffeetable. Anything to replace those stacks of Vice magazine.

Pine Magazine

Thursday, February 12, 2004

The Decemberists/Walkmen @ Richards on Richards

Vancouver, I'm so proud of you. You went out, you had fun, you danced a bit to the pirate jigs and above all else, you showed appreciation. Bravo!

The Notwist are playing tonight at the Commodore. Come on and have a boogie.

Friday the 13th Events... (Montreal)

There are a couple of shows of note happening tomorrow. The Homosexual & Mormon soiree at Pavilion and a gathering of sugary and sweet indie kids at Island View Beach, way the hell down Avenue du Parc.

The Hidden Cameras (Rough Trade), Arcade Fire @ Pavilion (1206 St. Laurent)
$10 / Doors @ 9pm

Mix Tape/CD-R Trade w/ The Diskettes, The Barbership Potemkim @ Island View Beach (5869 du Parc)
2 cans of food and a mix tape / doors @ 8pm SHARP

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Vancouver Shoegazers Unite.

This city is notorious for having assholes in the crowd. Not hecklers, just shoegazers. Last week at the Media Club, Ted Leo asked us why we were so fucking quiet and was met with dead silence. Rough crowd. Here's a tip, kids - Just lose your shit cos the next few months are going to be great.

02/11/04 The Walkmen
02/11/04 The Decemberists
02/12/04 The Notwist
02/14/04 Channels 3 + 4
02/17/04 The Evaporators
02/24/04 Super Furry Animals
02/23/04 British Sea Power
02/28/04 Stars (?)
02/29/04 Dillinger Escape Plan
02/29/04 Red Light Sting
02/29/04 The Locust
03/01/04 The Crystal Method
03/04/04 Mad Caddies
03/05/04 Liz Phair
03/05/04 Pedro The Lion
03/06/04 Buttless Chaps
03/07/04 Bob Log III
03/07/04 Elvis Costello
03/10/04 ima Robot
03/17/04 Rod Stewart!!!
03/23/04 Amon Tobin
03/23/04 Kid Koala
03/23/04 Bonobo
03/24/04 Juliana Hatfield
03/24/04 Yeah Yeah Yeahs
03/24/04 Franz Ferdinand
03/26/04 Blonde Redhead
03/29/04 Starlight Mints
04/01/04 Stereolab
04/03/04 I Am The World Trade Center
04/08/04 Mars Volta
04/14/04 Squarepusher
04/22/04 The Pixies
04/23/04 The Pixies
04/24/04 Stellastarr*
04/28/04 Air

Monday, February 09, 2004

Brave New Waves' 20th Anniversary

Brave New Waves is hosting a 20th anniversary bash in Montreal this Friday, February 13th at O Patro Vys (356 Mont-Royal East) from 5-7pm. Show up to ease the pain of your Patti Schmidt fetish or relive the glory days of the program when Brett Bambrey hosted and drank the cheap red wine.

Brave New Waves


Valentine's Day is but a week away, do you know who you're going to be kissing? There are loads of fun events going on during the evening, GoldKicks is proud to present to you your Ultimate List of Saturday Night Fun (aka places you should go if you want to get laid.)

First off, you'll want to start your night off early and in style at the Misanthropy Gallery, I know Johnny Cash died ages ago but look! Another tribute show. This one will be especially interesting though, it's free and the artist lineup includes such international heavy weights as Shepard Fairey (Obey Giant) and Dave Kinsey and also local favorites like The Dark and etc etc etc. Also featuring a musical tribute by The Buttless Chaps, you're definetly not going to want to miss out. And anyways, you know you love the Misanthropy parties, show up and make a point to not look at the art, brown bag the entire night and wave your 40 oz like it's 1999.

After that ends (early, I think?) - you have a number of choices:

a) The Astoria for Channels 3 + 4 plus whoever else, dance dance dance and alot of drunken dirty fun. If you were there on New Years Eve, you'll know what i'm talking about when I tell you this will be fresh and I think we all know that Miss Hana can throw a party that will make you blurry eye'd in the morning wondering who the hell you made out "oh jeez who has my pants?!". Also, if you WERE at the New Years Eve extravaganz, please send an email to either myself or Jay Watts telling us exactly what you were doing on the stroke of midnight. I bet our story will top yours!


b) THE PEOPLE'S PROM is an annual party put on by some fantastic folks who know their shit - I'm quoting from the email now but "Bring your date and your mom, This is the infamous party you've heard about, The 4th annual Peoples Prom, where no one goes home alone (with Macauley Culkin). Wear your best prom gear and make sure to dust off your velvet lined grinding pants, dance the night away with some of the finest DJ's in the city playing the hottest 70's and 80's slow jams and hip hop."

Entrance is $5 w/prom gear and $8 without and it's at 1880 triumph and victoria, be there!.

Ok, do you know what? This is focked. I don't want to write anymore about what you should do on the weekend! Just get it on, make some sweet love. It's not the end of the world, just a bastardized Hallmark tradition that's not even real to begin with! Ack! There's Hairball, The prom, The Astoria, about 289374 house parties and literally millions of lonely hearts just wanting to be loved. Peace out lovelies, I'm sorry I'm not a better blogger ... !

Friday, February 06, 2004

The Stills at home... Sat.Feb.7

The Stills will be playing a homecoming show in Montreal at Cabaret Du Plateau this Saturday (with Proxy) before taking off to Britain for the NME Brats showcase. It hasn't been confirmed as of yet whether Andy Dick actually performs with the group, or just happened to have wandered into the photo. (Far left)

The Stills

At the Cambie in Vancouver, you can buy "the cutest little bags of pot" from the man standing beside the jukebox.

Source: AllStyleNoContent

I last saw Jeff Ladouceur curled up, drooling and drunk on a reclusive record store owner's bed after one too many Heinekens, but four pieces of his (from his book "Ebola") appeared in the most recent issue of Harper's. The gentleman can draw, even if he can't drink.



The first SecretSociety filmclub meeting is this Sunday, hosted by Chloe of Seripop fame at Pavilion (1206 St. Laurent). The first screening is a "nihilist fag double feature: Fassbinder vs. Pasolini" and there will be snacks and drinks.

Arrive at 6, Screening at 6:30.
Entrance is $3, which includes the life-time membership.

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Friday, February 06 The SickLipStick, Aids Wolf, We Are Wolves, Fox The Boombox, Dr Bikini, DJ Adrian @ The Darkroom (101 McGuire) ($6)

Some more details on the Pavilion show...
Vernissage 5pm - ?.
Live Performances by The Ten Commandments and Wolf Parade.
DJ Alex Lemieux (2HQD Ind.)
@ Pavilion (1206 St. Laurent)
Pavilion Projects and this

I go out little, these new terminologies intrigue me always.

I went to the VAV Gallery last night for the "Getting Help" photography show. Exhibiting artists were Alana Riley, Heather Trawick (her piece was unfortunately mangled by the projector prior to my arrival), Elena Willis, Geoffrey Mattie, and Alexandre Seguin Dores. The pieces by Elena Willis and Geoffrey Mattie were particularly compelling, though I'd wished that I'd have had the opportunity to see Heather's piece.

I met a gentleman named Patrick, who works with Cluny, an "art-bar" at 257 rue Prince here in Montreal. He had some stylistic tips for Matt, which were along the line of "clean face/hairy chest" or "hairy face/clean chest"...

Michael Doerksen mentioned that he would be performing at the Pavillion Gallery opening (1206 St. Laurent, I believe?) on Saturday, as a member of The 10 Commandments along with Wolf Parade I'll put more details up about the exact location, cost, exhibiting artists and time as I get them...