Friday night I went out to a party and drank my fair share of the complimentary booze (merci, merci)...

Pop Montreal, besides giving schmooze-fests such as NXNE some competition on (oh say) a quarter of the budget with their September 29th to October 3rd event this year will also be curating Fringe Pop 2004, part of the St. Ambroise Montreal Fringe Festival. It's coming up (June 10-20th) - there's a press conference today that'll announce which 12 artists are playing - I'll paste them tomorrow...

TOMORROW Tuesdays at the Green Room are reaching maximum capacity quite quickly in the game - recent mentions in the Mirror and the Hour (expect McGill students, old people and unfamiliar faces - in other words, it's over! Already?) are helping as well as word-of-mouth on the drink-specials and decent music being played. It's expected that Greenland will have the above show-space, the Mile End Cultural Centre, up and running quite quickly.

also...
GLASS CANDY & THE SHATTERED THEATRE (Troubleman Unlimited)
THE CATHETERS (SubPop)
DUCHESS SAYS
@ Sala Rossa (4388 St. Laurent)

WEDNESDAYKillHimHideTheBody hosts another Wednesday Night Partwee (Christ, the puns!) at Saphir, this time the night's theme will be "Grilled Cheese." If you were wary of what would result from a room full of drunken indie kids smoking and making out last week (as I was, and thus, not in attendance, though I hear speak of a documentary film crew, twins and a Victoria ex-pat), this week should prove to be one step beyond revolting, I think. See for yourself. 3699 St. Laurent

A new e-mail address: jaywatts@gmail.com

World Traveller & Writer Jean Louie

Jean-Louie on Montreal's night life:

"The original name was 'Les Beaux Jeudis'. Today everyone refers to
the club as 'Thursdays'. That is the number one spot in town. That is where the golden youth meets and mates. But, not the very young; the 25-50 affluent young.

Jean-Louie on partying at the Port of Spain:

"Ten thousand people danced, screamed, jumped, hugged, whined, kissed, and finally got breakfast. They also got wet to the bones by powerful hoses
that failed to extinct their commitment of jumping-up until the last man
(or woman) dies. This forced shower was part of the spectacle."

http://www.jean-louie.com

Modulate the experience of your orgasm...

Clinical sexologist Ian Kerner's recently published book "She Comes First" may or may not spark an actual interest in properly engaging in cunnilingus, but I think it's safe to assume that the overwhelming majority of buyers of this book will be females and after a while, most copies will find their way to the bookshelf in the rumpus room, alongside "Futureshock" and Dr. Benjamin Spock's "Baby & Childcare" to educate the furtive minds of adolescent children who don't have access to Vice Magazine.

I AM THE RESURRECTION.

My sleeping schedule has been so decimated by this past weekend (Fri: Slutsky's set at the Long Haul, Sat: sushi, Sun: Green Room DJ set + VJT's birthday) that it seemed wise to show up to work at 6:30 this morning... Not so.


I thought I should mention:

http://jeremybrendan.blogspot.com: My Life As a Reptile blog.

Goldkicks contributor Jenn Wong posts photos chronicling her debaucherous and decadent existence as Terminal City Weekly columnist and part-time genius.

Strut Magazine: This magazine is certainly coming into its own and moving away from the Nylon template it adopted initially. Witness the "Things That Obsess Us" listing from the most recent issue for "Guys Who Wear White Jeans." Damn straight.

Sometimes I think that aging wunderkind Zac Posen should be designing bedding for Sears instead of uber-hyped clothing for dreadfully boring actresses, which is a clever little way of saying that I'm unimpressed with his Autumn 2004 pieces...

Lazaro Hernandez and Jack McCullough of Proenza Schouler, on the other hand, have done some impressive things with their most recent ready-to-wear bits, even if the presence of the colour purple rubs me the wrong way. "Well-crafted" and "Momma's boys" are generally used to describe the two...Vogue's coverage

Tuleh's Bryan Bradley should be put on a tighter leash so he stops dropping the occasional design for trannie hookers and Cramps fans.(Pictured left)

Don't be fooled by Hogan's new advertising campaign - their shoes are still as desperately unhip as ever despite the inclusion of metallic silver highlights.

Hey - do you like the Stone Roses? Me too!

The montrealfood.com website.

Ultra-nice popsters (from Victoria, BC with a strong Talking Heads influence) The Immaculate Machine will be performing tomorrow night at KillHimHideTheBody's preciously named Smooch 'O' Rama. It's at Saphir at 3699 St. Laurent.

Old weird men will be watching the Legendary Pink Dots on Sunday, May 30th at El Salon.

Jogging around Parc La Fontaine in American Apparalel shorts...

Une soiree seulement!

I'll be DJing (along with Robin Simpson & Alex Lemieux) at The Green Room (5386 St. Laurent) on Sunday night for another Pavilion-centric event. Robin is off to icy, suicide-inducing Scandinavia for a couple of months, so drop in if you're a little too timid to hit up VJT's absurd all-night birthday bash on St. Denis or you're wanting to do both. Maybe we can split the cab-fare.

SUNDAY MAY 23RD
10pm-?
The Green Room 5386 boul. St-Laurent below St. Viateur

NO GUESTLIST?!?!?! Is this some sort of anti-authoritarian thing?

May List.

Tennis I'm waiting for my rackets to appear from the West Coast, so I haven't had a chance. Any excuse to wear white!
Cricket Post-colonial.
Cherry CheeseCake Ice Cream
The Green Room A strangely hip jukebox (almost off-putting, I think), a decent liquor and beer selection and all of your favourite DJs clamoring for a night.
Doubling Combined with alcohol, the best way to bicycle around this city.
Handjobs A dying craft revived with a new vigour and intensity this summer.
Linens No man or woman should deny themselves the pleasure of linens, crisp and freshly laundered. That so many do deny themselves speaks to a certain impoverishment in our culture.

Starfucker?

Afrobeat (along with dub/dancehall/funk/soul) will be dropped by some unnamed DJ at Korova (3908 St. Laurent Blvd) tonight. I'll be there, doing research and ordering plenty of gingerales.

I don't know if I'm, but I've got a hunch that this Ambulance LTD band is really just a regrouping of the Sea & Cake. Think about it - no one's been paying any attention to Chicago over the past couple of years, so Sam Prekop and the rest of the group, fresh from breakups with their two-timing girlfriends, make the decision to re-locate to New York and wallow in post-shoegazer, post-relationship, post-indie-fame agony. Timed perfectly with the whole cult built around Lost In Translation (ever notice that most American films over the past years that have received critical blowjobs have been the films with the well-compiled soundtrack? Wes Anderson films, for example) and Kevin Shields re-emergence (from either 1) an Essex recording studio or 2) A decade long ecstasy binger with Mani and Bobbi Gillespie from Primal Scream). See you at O Patro Vys tonight, Montreal residents.

Backlash vs. Backlash

As a group of one of the only hipsters left who've been to University but still maintain a faith in binary oppositions and a distance from Christianity, Goldkicks is proud to champion Vice Magazine - as it's become quite fashionable in most circles to pronounce one's self tired with the whole schlock, as well as 'shocked' by revelations concerning the political affiliations and undertones (well, yes, overtones, I suppose - it took this long to figure all this out, by the way?); as the Vice backlash moves into full-swing, we're 100% behind them and any rabidly anti-Semitic, crypto-fascist, blatantly heterosexist, homophobic, pseudo-erotic, tongue-in-cheek pronouncements that may be decreed from the lofty heights of whatever Manhattan skyscraper's 28th floor they're occupying, if only to keep advertising revenue away from neutered upstarts like Trucker Magazine (Toronto? Fucking Toronto???). Perhaps Larry Flynt and Hustler will buy Vice up, as they did Big Brother in the 90s and sanitize it.

Anyway, that was all a big segue into something of interest, that's occuring out there away from computer monitors and messageboard feuds and op-ed columns on e-zines - that is, CBC Radio 3's "Connect The Dots" tour of Music, Photography & Multimedia will be stopping in Montreal on Wednesday night. Featured performers will be The Unicorns, Edelweissian synth-popster Leiderhosen Lucil and Canada's third-rate contribution to a four-year old trend (comprised of [unwarranted personal attack against strangers follows] (I assume) 50% half-assed art students and 50% recovering math-rockers) that hasn't gone away yet, Controller.Controller. (Unless you're a member of PiL or Glass Candy and the Shattered Theatre, using the term "Death Disco" in promotional material will earn you nothing but scorn... Or an opening slot for the Blood Brothers somewhere in Missouri.) Tim Barber, photo editor of VICE MAGAZINE will be in attendance as well. Show up. Tell him how much you love him, support the ideological intent of Vice magazine in the war against the post-Marxist barbarians, and how he's not as creepy as Terry Richardson. Maybe he won't be there. I bet it'll be just the Burlesque show photography. Christ. That trend should have never got off the ground. God-damn rockabillies and Bettie Page haircuts and flame-covered things and leopard print garbage.

O Patro Vys - 356 Mont-Royal East
May 12, 2004 - Doors @ 6, Music @ 8
The Unicorns, Leiderhosen Lucil, Controller.Controller, Dina Goldstein, Toni Hafkenscheid, Maria Coletsis, Laura Jane Petelko, Maureen Rodrigues-Labreche, Kevin Romaniuk, Russell Monk, Carol Conde & Karl Beveridge, Tim Barber, Byron Barrett, Marco Bohr, Bettina Hoffman, Janieta Eyre, Mackenzie Stroh, Chris Gergley, etc.

Check out Jason McLean's site, too.

Thirst No More.

The Ponys are from Chicago and have received appreciatory nods in print from Byron Coley and Thurston Moore. You might remember Byron from Forced Exposure zine, or from that "Shield Around The K" video, wherein he dissects the appeal and biography of Sven Gali and opinion-divider Calvin Johnson. This Ponys band has a new album out on In The Red Records called "Laced With Romance" as well as a new single. They're going to be in the UK at the end of this month, followed by a 15 date American tour that will see them finishing up in New York at the Village Voice's Siren Festival. Speaking of the UK, did you read the new flaccid-as-hell Vice magazine? I found a copy of it on my roommate's bed this morning and took it so I could read something on the bus (I knew true shame when I looked across the aisle and spotted two twentysomething girls reading the very same issue) and skimmed over the Libertines' A&R guy's brief memoirs, revealing such shocking things as (quelle surprise) a young and not-to-bright kid with a record deal and a small bit of artistic talent got in over his head with drugs and sycophants. I hope there's an enterprising editor out there that can convince Jay McIrney to hammer out a novel based on this wearisome cliche and thus embarass the rest of us to such an extent that we stop devouring these redundant tales of debauchery and excess.

Couple of notes of interest for Montreal residents...
Nightlife Magazine, the 3/4 French publication that is generally (and sadly) unremarkable as a Vice magazine knockoff, but not nearly as obnoxiously designed as Toronto's Trucker magazine, has a review of Wolf Parade's final show at Spencer's loft in the newest issue, in French, accompanied with an over-exposed shot of Dan Beckner (the only full-time standing member of Wolf Parade) sweating it out.

I stumbled upon a pretty decent Montreal resource called We Love Musique that has a fair amount of music reviews, information on hang-outs and bands, show photographs and the usual forums to gripe and complain about bouncers or crappy DJs in. There's also some startlingly awful photography in the Photo section, but maybe the editorial staff owed the photographers a favour.

Anyone in Montreal know an accomplished drummer who could deal with Afrobeat rhythms but isn't a hippy? Yeah, yeah, impossible, I know.

Montreal

Destroyer frontman Dan Bejar
I'm too fucking hungover.

Thursday, May 6 - Vox III, Gellée, Duchess Says, Statue Park + DJs Radio Whore & Amyl Nitrate @ Casa Del Popolo
Friday, May 8 - Destroyer, Frog Eyes, Pink Mountain Tops @ El Salon ($10/$12)
Saturday, May 9 - Young & Sexy, The Social Register, P:ano @ Le Swimming ($6)

Duchess Says is one of the best bands in this damn city. Check out the 6 Finger Satellite cover. Their keyboard-drummer looks a bit like David Byrne, too.