Who Killed Michael Jackson?

Who killed Michael Jackson? Ian Halperin, in an interview with the Montreal Mirror, thinks it was the vultures that surround him. Who murdered Michael Jackson? Was Michael Jackson murdered? Death by neglect? Overwork? Janet Jackson? Latoya Jackson? Jermaine Jackson? It couldn't be bass-loving Tito Jackson, so humorously portrayed as a best-of hocking envious brother by Tracy Morgan of 30 Rock. Did Scientologists kill Michael Jackson? Could they have saved him from the rampant rumours of homosexuality, anorexia? Was it Cory Feldman? What about Corey Haim? Corey Feldman killed Michael Jackson, by diluting his brand. Certainly Corey Haim did not kill Michael Jackson. Out of the two Corys/the two Coreys, I just don't think he would have it in him. More than likely, in a plot to squash the popular uprising in Tehran and across Iran, the Iranian government killed Michael Jackson. Twitter has changed the world. Eddie Murphy might have killed Michael Jackson by wearing that red jacket so much. Was that in Raw? Those Jakarta bombings, in Indonesia... Michael Jackson was beloved by southern Asians, and the Japanese, of course, but for different reasons. Bollywood loved him. I don't know how the northern Asians felt about The Prince of Pop. Did the Mongolians like Michael Jackson? Maybe, but there was no love. Same with the northern Chinese provinces. Vaguely aware, but, meh, whatever. I don't know if anyone can ever answer these lingering questions, and maybe it's more rhetorical than anything else, like when Jeru the Damaga asked who killed hip-hop. It turned out hip-hop wasn't dead, but that Puff Daddy had just kidnapped him, had him holed up somewhere in New York (not in one of the five boroughs) and maybe Ma$e was around, feeding him and playing poker or whatever. Probably reading the Holy Bible. Death by Jeans Job. A career in denim. The last crime in a world gone mad. New Mexico. Explosions. I get so much traffic for hood rat, it's kind of weird. Hoochie Mama, too. Maybe it's people looking for 2 Live Crew ringtones. I don't know if it's 2 Live Crew diegesis or what. Someone in Hanna, Alberta came here recently from the query "Is there a dog you can ride?" I guess it's a big agricultural area, Hanna, in Alberta. Must be a recession thing. Horses are so expensive. If there was a ridable dog, why, that'd be easier to feed and you wouldn't have to worry too much about them running away. Dogs stick around. They're loyal like that. Michael Jackson in Prada, by Miu Miu. Nice shoes. Sex and the City killed Michael Jackson. Evan Dubinsky of Bad Flirt hasn't Googled himself recently. Maybe I'll write about Greg Ipp's CONTROVERSIAL ARTICLE. I wonder if Jian Ghomeshi has commented yet. I am going to make this blog the first search result for Evan Dubinsky. I bet I can make it to at least #2. I'm #5 right now on Google for Evan Dubinsky. I don't really want to change the name of the blog to Evan Dubinsky Kicks or something, though. Noah Bick Kicks would be funnier. Those rideable dogs, man, I get a lot of hits for that. And pictures of Dean Martin, Sharon Tate and Mia Farrow for some reason. bad flirt is evan dubinsky, jasamine white-gluz, laura lloyd, music, raf de la durantaye. Yoko Ono killed Michael Jackson.british open leaderboard 2009, martellus bennett was a great rapper, loved his rap video, love hip hop videos by martellus bennet, and evan dubinsky hip hop project, too. Lindsay Avner was not on the Tour de france stage 13, or the Tour de France Stage 11, either. Tour de France Stage 14 and Tour de France Stage 15 will be great, as long as Lori Silverbush and Tom Colicchio from that Homecoming Movie with Jared Kushner don't end up in a trailer, and instead Tom and Lori have a baby. Top Chef, never seen that show. Panasonic tc p54z1 is out and Heather Zeo is happy, happy, happy. Taleon Goffney. Where are these names coming from? Myley Cyrus? What a weird first name. The Apollo moon landing hoax is a tired and boring conspiracy theory, and I'm a bit too queasy to read anything about Canada's favourite serial killers, Karla homolka and paul bernardo. Karla Homolka lives in Montreal now, or supposedly lived in the south of Montreal. Apparently there was some ex-convict who loved her and seeked her out. Who knows what Karla Homolka does in Montreal. Maybe Karla Homolka is in Pointe-Claire, or Verdun, or Karla Homolka is in St. Henri. The North bay road castle is quite the amusing Ontario/Ontarian theme park or tourist attraction. Back to that Martellus bennett rap video, starring Julio Lugo, who could show him a thing or two about rhymes and crimes. Adam kimmel. Adam Kimel even. Maybe Adam Kimmell. Miami beach castle is not as cool as that North Bay thing.

Kesha Nichole, Richard's Wedding, Trendifying, and those damn sharks in New York.

Kesha Nicole Nichols is quite a lady, the Richard Jefferson wedding must have been a blast Is it really Ni Cole? Kesha Ni'Cole Nichols, maybe. Nee Cole? Nico! Little Pamela Laverne Long and Wendy Touton pics and pictures, bios and biographies. The uncensored tale. Shameless video. Why do the Russians care? Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is a parable for the Obama Age (some say Obama throws like a girl, but that's coming from a fat guy in pleated khakis who tucks in his polo shirts) or just plain racist, Sibylle Szaggars photograph is in high demand, Tu 154M were some doomed Caspians, MTLQQ is the General Motors stock symbol and I hope it's not on your market ticket, Andree McLeod is Alaskan, Swine flu symptoms checker is going to make you paranoid, The People's Pharmacy sounds like something out of Berkley, basking sharks are more common than those that are broiled, Gipper's List sounds like some quasi-religious Reaganite parable, Maria del Carmen Bousada was quite the mother, WJFK format change has people talking, while Tupolev 154 was mentioned above, Trutv is a reality TV station, I guess? Robert Redford's biography makes some mention of Natalie Wood, but not enough. A Today show wedding is more exciting than Larry Bird and his rights (miranda or not). I've never seen the Mike O'Meara show, but the BAA half marathon, well, not that either. But people run, boy, do they run in the Boston half marathon. 2009 or 1979, when a lot more people were smoking. Ben Mezrich did not win the all star game 2009, and the Jimmy V foundation might not be as generous as you imagined. Sheriff David Morgan is in Escambia County, in Florida, someone got murdered there. Who woulda thought? The Tour de France is in stage 11. Riley Fox was a 3 year old, and, unfortunately, not a bit character in the beloved Wind in the Willows novel. Huddle House is a gross-out diner in the United States that to some might mark a symbol of the end of the American empire, but is really just gross. Lola Redford (nee von Wagenen) and Robert are now married. Congraulations, say James Rafe Mitchell and Ty Strickland. Probably not a coupling that that ol' stalwart broad Ayn Rand would have approved of. So many sports events like the British Open Golf just pass me by. Back to those basking sharks - they seem to be popping up everywhere - even Long Island, whereas the Tupolev plane isn't going anywhere. Jim Valvano, what a coach and what a foundation head. The late great probably would have appreciated the Ann Arbor art fair, as would have Sotomayor paramour Kevin Edward Noonan. No one's going to take a pet airline - that's pre-Recession nonsense. Caspian airlines, will we remember you a month from now? Or does the New Zealand earthquake story have more legs? Alstrom Syndrome, that rare thing. The Harry Potter box office rides strong. Anthony Randolph is a fine player, Danielle Keller was 29 years old, and will never get the chance to enjoy a drink prepared by the portable frozen drink maker, the Margarator, which will be a frat house staple for years to come. Dave Chappelle, in Pioneer Square or Reef Central, either way, not that funny. Now, when a giant shark washes ashore, people take notice. Penelope Cruz pregnant? Oh, woah, despicable me. Evan Dubinsky's star-turn. Dubinsky is moving to Los Angeles, they say.

Q&A: Matt Silver & Pat Kiely (Kidnapper Films, Who Is K.K. Downey?)

Screenwriters, comedians, and mensches Matt Silver and Pat Kiely took some time to answer my questions about their work on the Showcase Series' The Foundation. 2 episodes of the upcoming series will be screened as part of the Just For Laughs Festival, which opens on Thursday, July 16th and occasionally subjects Montrealers to more street theatre than even they can handle.

How did Mike Dowse approach you to work on this project?

We had known Mike for a little while through our mutual friend Paul Spence. He had seen a few of our sketch shows back in the day and so when it came time to put together a writer's room, he gave us a shout. The room included myself, Pat Kiely, Paul Spence, a hilarious dude named Gord Skillet, Mike Dowse, his producer Jennifer Wilson, and a seasoned T.O. writer named Jackie May. It's really the best way to write comedy in my opinion, because you just sit around all day trying to be the funniest guy or girl in the room. (full disclosure: I was never the funniest guy or girl in the room).

You and Pat play the Tak Brothers in The Foundation: can you describe a bit about your characters and their relation to the series?

Pat plays an ex-Olympian who loses his legs to a drunk driver, and I play his skeevy drug-addict brother. In it's simplest terms, Pat is recruited to wheelchair his way across Canada by the head of a charitable organization and I tag along as his manager and drug dealer. Neither of these brothers are the nicest or healthiest dudes, and essentially they figure out pretty quickly a way to cheat the system by attaching the wheelchair to the back of a tour bus.

Both of you, if IMDB is any indication, appear to have had a rather busy couple of years, even besides working on K.K. Downey. Besides your God-given talent, Protestant work ethic and mounds of charm (etc., etc.), do you find that there's anything community-wise that Montreal has, that has kept you steadily working?

We've been lucky enough to have a bunch of friends who, over the last few years, have gone into production with a bunch of stuff. The anglo production community is pretty tight in Montreal, so if someone decides to shoot something (usually on a limited budget) they know that there's a pool of cheap talent out there. We just happen to be the cheapest of the cheap talent.

When will the series debut on Showcase?

I'm not 100% sure when The Foundation will be on Showcase. I'm thinking sometime in Autumn but again I'm not totally sure about that.

Pat Kiely: The only thing I can add is that "The Foundation" premieres on Sunday nights, starting September 20th at 10pm (after Weeds and before Kenny vs. Spenny).

Are there any plans for anything from Kidnapper Films in the works?

Kidnapper is cooking a few things up. We're hard at work on the script for our next feature, ostensibly a Montreal period piece where three idiots fix a horse race. We're also putting the finishing touches on another script which is being produced by Mike Dowse (FUBAR, Pete Tong) and John Hazlett (Suburbanators, These Girls). Besides that...shit I think that's it.

And... WHERE IS YOUR SERIES?

Where indeed, my friend. Where indeed. I'll keep you posted on that one.

Matt Silver as Mark in the film One-Man Party. Directed and shot by Mark Slutsky for the 2008 Montreal 60 Second Film Festival. This year's edition will be taking place on September 9th through 11th at Sala Rossa.

Thanks for the shout-out, Pardon My Hindi!

The Foundation at the Just For Laughs Film Festival

We're in the final stretch of the Montreal Jazz Fest, and while it was kind of interesting to press myself up against 100,000 other people for Patrick Watson's performance on Sunday night, truthfully, I've neglected my duties as a newly minted Quebecker (I declared my residency last Friday, after five years of living here), which, at this time, include wandering buzzed around the Quartier de Spectacle, fondling produce at a Farmer's Market or two, and playing pétanque in a city park.

Yes, I've been lazy, but now I'm summoning up all the civic pride I can to get involved, even if that means sitting in a dark theatre on a summer evening. (Thankfully, the weather's been mostly miserable...) The Just For Laughs Festival, widely known across the rest of Canada as the place where they film all of the filler stand-up comedy for Saturday night emergency programming on CTV, is here, and truthfully, I can take or leave stand-up comedy and comics. (And circus acts and the tam-tams and many other of Montreal's summer delights. Thank God they don't hold poetry slams outdoors.) But as it goes, there's something very compelling about this year's festival, and that's a screening of two episodes of a new television series on Canada's Showcase network (which re-broadcasts American cable shows, used to show a blue movie or two, and occasionally produces some Canadian shows) which stars two of the principals involved with last year's film, Who is K.K. Downey?, which premiered at Fantasia.

Kidnapper Films' Pat Kiely and Matt Silver make an appearance as the Tak Brothers, in an episode of a new five-part series called The Foundation, which is screening two episodes at the Just For Laughs festival. (Contrary to past years with this blog, I won't delve needlessly and deeply into the arcane details and connections, I'll just say that these are two very talented and very hard-working young men, and their lengthy CVs attest to that.)

From the trailer, it looks like it's just as funny, quick, offensive, and also features just as many questionable hairstyles and incidents of hard-drug use. Mike Wilmot (from It's All Gone, Pete Tong) stars as a morally bankrupt family patriarch, with Mike Dowse (Fubar, It's All Gone, Pete Tong) at the helm.

The Foundation at the Just For Laughs Film Festival
Thursday, July 23rd, 19h
NFB CineRobotheque
1564 rue St. Denis

I'll have a brief Q&A to post with the duo in the next day or so, but in the meantime, to give you a bit of context, here are some audio pieces. The first is a mock college radio show hosted by Terrance and Theo Huxtable that takes place prior to the events in Who Is K.K. Downey, and features an animated and aggravating caller, as well as selections from the film's spectacular soundtrack (Miracle Fortress, CFCF, Duchess Says, and others.). Unfortunately, we weren't able to re-create the smooth reggae sounds that follow on The Natty Dred Show. Production was by Ali Rahman and Martin Horn of Digital Bird Studios, with a little help from yours truly.

Who Is K.K. Downey? K.K. Cast (MP3 format)

Against Film Schools is a 2008 piece produced by Cristal Duhaime, who works on CBC Radio 1's Wiretap with Jonathan Goldstein, for the sadly short-lived and ambitious Savfaire magazine. The voice you'll hear is that of Matt Silver, expounding wisdom to the fresh and naive souls who wish to make it as film-makers.

High School Lesbian Poetry Teacher

The shirt of a high school lesbian poetry teacher. Pedagogical Lesbianism. Sapphic poetry, odes of love from Sappho's Island of Lesbos ("What an island." - Burt Lancaster, in The Midnight Man). Is it simply the purview of academia, or does it have deeper resonance, in the creative writing workshops and homoerotic homework sessions of middle America? Across the pond, does the oeuvre of Jeanette Winterson inspire desire? Do daughters

Do nymphet nubilians squat and strong alike gather round to discuss Nubians, Sophie Scholl, Buckingham Nicks, and the near Talmudic levels of meaning in the 2 Live Crew chant of "hood-rat, hoodrat, hoochie Mama!" Poutina or poutine? Is it only adult fun, or young work? Lyrical lines on the elegance of the yellow heron or Yeats' mischievous soul?

Polanski's late-night dalliances with Sharon Tate, squatting in shadows, alone in the apartment, the thick, strange, brooding mood and anchorless violence of "Knife in the Water." How did Dean Martin & Mia Farrow play into this? Did Frank Sinatra (Senior, not Frank Sinatra, Jr., that faked Lindbergh baby) have dark connections to a couple of world famous riflemen, one of which ? Incestuous strands tied together here and there. What's the meaning of the Chinese Walk Into Ocean meme? Racist claptrap not on the level of Konrad's Captain Kurtz? Apocalyptic Christian hysterics from born-again grandmothers? Post-modern paranoia with anti-mercantilist roots, as old as the times of Tutankhamun and his Egyptian tomb? Lupid rhymes with stupid, but lupus rhymes with a couple Latin words, maybe. Shameless video clips. Shamelessly wondering if you can ride a dog. Can you ride a dog? Can I ride a dog? Dogs can be flea-bitten, but can they be ridden? Saddle up to ride, astride, a Labrador or a Pekingese? Who is the most disturbing, kitschy, and perverse? The director of KPax, the director of the film Powder (albindo deer-healing prowess), or outsider artist par excellence Henry Darger, janitor by day who favoured inaccurate depictions of flat-fronted genitalia, like Depression-era dolls done art brut?

Symphony no 6, op 74. Or Symphony Number 6, Opus Number 74. Tchaikovsky, by the Leningrad Philharmonic Symphony Orchestra. Here we find the light touch and seemingly effortless of a genius. The mood sours, the pace quickens, the strings swell! Proto-Gershwin for Fellow Travelers! A Rhapsody in Red! That's familiar!

I went to a Japandroids show, last night, in Montreal. Never heard the band, but they both went to UVic, guess they shopped at Ditch. Some guy was opening up named Slim Twig, played amped-up looped and sampled post-punk-noise-funk, as if Sunny Kay from the VSS was now fronting Suicide for a reunion tour, instead of Alan Vega, and he wasn't afraid to trade in rockabilly licks for Sly & The Family Stone loops. Never saw Japandroids, but they like Atlas Strategic. Fine. Evan Dubinsky was there, from the pride of NDG, Bad Flirt. Evan, if you're nationalistically Googling yourself right now, Hi. Evan Dubinsky, who will soon move to Los Angeles to seek fame, fortune, and a better quality of t-shirt, made with pride by migrant workers paid a living wage under the watchful eye of Dov. Noah Bick, too. Hi, Noah! (Well, he was there. Noah isn't re-locating to the USA. Not yet...) Really, though, I bet Evan's moving to California to escape the creased-corduroy socialism of his brother, who has ties, deep and pink, to Canada's NDP (New Democratic Party). Evan wants to be more Donald & Keifer Sutherland than Shirley Douglas, daughter of Tommy Douglas.

CFCF & Jay Watts III at The All-Rounder LI at Korova Bar Terroir

Saturday, November 15th

10pm, Free
Korova Bar Terroir
3908 St. Laurent
Montreal, QC

Join our FB group for more information

Korova Bar in Montreal: Tuesdays are <86

Noah Markowicz (Dr. Dreidel) and I are doing a new night at Korova on Tuesdays. The concept is music before 1986, hence <86. Come down to Korova Bar (3908 St. Laurent) and check it out. Rotating guests, free mix-tapes!

Dogs You Can Ride

I was on a casual stroll down Van Horne avenue earlier this afternoon, on the hunt for a coffee, when I came across a giant Saint Bernard tied to a telephone pole outside of a grocery store. This Saint Bernard was at least the size of a pony, and therefore, I would imagine as ride-able as a pony. ("Can I ride a dog?," I thought. "Can I ride that dog?") It struck me that if one could somehow combined the ride-ability of the pony or horse with the love-ability and trustworthiness of the dog, well then, that ambitious breeder or marketer or trainer or what not would really have something. A dog-pony. A dog you can ride. Dogs you can ride. Ride-able dogs. Man's best friend, and man's best ride. Equestrianism has a whiff of hide-bound tradition and the static class society, not suitable for the democratic ethos of The New World, but dog-riding has the potential to be an accessible and affordable form of animal riding, if only someone were to step up and fulfill the need!

The riding animal or mount animal has been a part of civilization since the, er, dawn of civilization, and possibly before - from the Hindu & Buddhist Garuda (or Garula): a winged mythological creature; to ostriches, dromedaries, and elephants.



This sadistic little book cover above is, of course, nothing like what I was imagining in my head, and the image of a maniacal, wild-eyed cat driving a poor hound into the ground by the handle of his switch belongs to a different time, when peace between species was not so close at hand, as it is now, in the year 2008.



For years, clueless Irish Wolfhound owners* have done nothing but stand their Irish Wolfhounds on their hind legs to pose for illustrations, paintings or photographs, trying to prove some inane point about their dog's size, unaware of how much more impressive it would be to come trotting down main street astride their majestic beast. And for the Irish Wolf Hound? No more demeaning parlour tricks, no, the Irish Wolf Hound could hold head high, becoming part of a lineage that includes the mighty stallion and the regal elephant.

Do any of you know of any dogs that might be suitable for riding? Interested breeders, please get in touch. Can you ride a dog? Have you rode a dog before? Are you interested in buying a dog saddle?

I can and will ride a dog. I swear this now. Certain larger canines (Newfoundlanders, Dog of Berdoux, Bull Mastiffs) have been fitted with saddles like majestic mini-horses for the infirm, very young children, and certain elderly people with very frail bones to ride.

* A special thank you to Marion Elissalde, a dog-owner but not dog-rider, for suggesting Wolf Hounds.

hand in handjob

More Square Quotes Episodes

Okay, Alexander, Martin, Ali and myself have been busy since I last posted here. We've got four whole more episodes, and pretty soon, we'll be producing a special episode for Osheaga. The Osheaga podcast you'll be able to get directly from their website, and will include interviews with musicians, artists and other people associated with the festival.

In the meantime, do some catching up with the last couple of episodes... I'll list them in reverse chronological order, or you can go to the main site at www.squarequotes.com or find us on iTunes.

Square Quotes, Episode 6: Bend It Like Beckett

Square Quotes is back with a vengeance, notorious and ever glorious! During our two week hiatus we shuffled off the chains of Suoni per il Popolo and now fly towards the sun like Icarus! This week's episode is packed with summer sounds, summer flicks, and Cancon controversy.

Jordan Robson-Cramer, contributing member of Montreal's Sunset Rubdown and Miracle Fortress visited us and played a song with Rory Seydel (also of Shapes and Sizes) - the newest member of Jordan's long-standing project Magic Weapon.

Tempting fate, we invited Darren Curtis and Matt Silver, two peanut-shelling funny-men partially responsible for Kidnapper Films' debut full-length Who is K.K. Downey? to talk with us. The film premieres in Canada later this week as part of the Fantasia Film Festival.

This episode's musical picks anticipate, welcome, and think about love: its complications, its great bounty. Delegation's Darlin' (I Think About You) appears on their landmark champagne-disco-funk album, 1979's Eau de Vie; ABS dug up Jermaine Jackson's Good for the Gander, which is an unreleased Motown gem produced by Norman Harrison and Ron Tyson; Steely Dan's Dirty Work speaks for itself; Johnny Moped's Darlin' (Let's Have Another Baby) gets straight up paternal; we all love Silver Apples' I Have Known Love (they may be popping up in our city sometime soon - shhh); and Magnum Force speaks to the mood of the moment in Girl, You're Too Cool.

Square Quotes Episode 5: Pansexual Digressions & Nocturnal Omissions

With a turnaround time that would daunt most college radio stations, but is par for the course in the big leagues with major players like Radio Congo, we came up with episode 5. A majestic palace of sophistry, loving communication, and dialogue. Our guests this week were Ken Vandermark, the acclaimed saxophonist whose name you might recognize from Powerhouse Sound and The Flying Luttenbachers; Amber Goodwyn, the publisher of Canada's, nay North America's best smut zine, Lickety Split; and finally, the beloved Claude Bernier, logistics master and jack of all trades with the Suoni per il Popolo festival, who came in to the studio to chat us up, and deliver exclusive Suoni sounds recorded over the course of the festival from Vic Chestnutt and The Sun Ra Arkestra, live at Sala Rossa.

This Episode's Songs...

Leon Ware Rockin' You Eternally, The Velvelettes Je Veux Crier (My Foolish Heart Keeps Hanging on a Memory), Di Melo A vida seus métodos diz calma, The Sun Ra Arkestra Excerpt (Live at Sala Rossa), Vic Chestnutt Excerpt (Live at Sala Rossa), Marcia Hines You Gotta Let Go, Sadina I Want That Boy

Square Quotes Episode 4: Too Much Too Late

Woah. Well, Square Quotes took our sweet, precious time delivering this, a snapshot of a week or so in the life of a gaggle of Montrealers... First, Sasha Kleinplatz, a Montreal dancer, choreographer and organizer who recently put on a dance event called Piss In the Pool at the dilapidated Bain St. Michel went head-to-head with ABS; after that, we spoke to Billy Mavreas, the garrulous and lovable mensch who runs the Monastiraki Curiosity Shop, and is also a cartoonist who's recently published a graphic novel called Inside Outside Overlap, published by Timeless Books. It's all about dream logic, the murk, and a recent experience at the Helen Pitt Gallery in Vancouver, BC, where he participated in their Workaday series; and finally, Jenny Craig, the hostess and curator of the monthly Greasy Goose salon series discussed the business of talking about things here in Montreal, and let us listen in as local cosmologist Mark Slutsky spoke about ESP. Music? Yep, music again - Art Ensemble of Chicago, Manfred Krug, Mavreas' The Fudge, Ben E. King, and The Soft Boys. All for you, by us.

Square Quotes Episode 3: The Sun (Ra) Also Rises

On episode three of Square Quotes we talk with Alex Moskos of electronic-jam-duo Thames / circuit-twisted pop trio the Unireverse. Afterward we enlist his help in channeling the spirit of afro-futurist jazz artist Sun Ra.

Then Jack Oatmon of the Montreal Mirror stops by to give us the lowdown on Ivan Smagghe's health issues and he manages to squeeze in an interview with Andy Butler of NYC's post-disco group Hercules & Love Affair.

Later on we check in with Phil Elverum, of Mt. Eerie, just before his appearance at the Suoni per il Popolo festival. We play some songs too, like "I Comma Zimba" by Abdullah, the militant Motown musician and "Moliendo Cafe" performed by twelve-piece Romanian brass band Fanfare Ciocărlia. We also get heavy with Pilooski, who channels the high priestess of soul Nina Simone.

The All Rounder: Saturdays at Korova

Zukunftsmusik, Italo, Soul, R&B, midnight rhythms, New Jack Swing, Hip hop, Miami Bass, Disco, proto-house, new wave, hip house, pop, Afro-beat, Tropicalia, Latin freestyle, Northern Soul, champagne pop, yacht rock.

Always present: proprietor and a true humanitarian, Nicolas Jules Robinson (Nick The Prick); behind-bar reader & bartender Naomi; gentlemen of the door, Stephen or Simon.

For those of you less-inclined to tear up the dancefloor, there are diversions - the Pabst Blue Ribbon vending machine, ol' tyme arcade games, a pool table, a neon light, a fooseball table, and the sparkling wit and genteel conversation of the staff.

Korova received Honourable Mentions in the Best Dance Club and Best Pick Up Club (!!!) category in the Montreal Mirror's Best of 2007 Poll. Nice.

"If that's not your cup of yerba mate, or you're wondering what happened to the rest of the Baile MTL crew, roll around the corner to Korova for a sophisticated evening of Italo, yacht rock, new jack swing and many other esoteric subgenres of pop music you hoped and prayed would be buried under the sands of time until the Internet came along and, well, they started to seem sorta cool again. That's at the AllRounder, with funny guys Jay Watts III and Mark Dufort."
- Jack Oatman, Montreal Mirror, 1/31/08

I~ Dec 8th w/ Insomniak
II~ Dec 15th w/ Alexander Buckiewicz-Smith (ABS)
III~ Dec 22nd
IV~ Dec 29th w/ North (S.L.U.M.)
V~ Jan 5th w/ Khiasma (Baile MTL, Ivory Temple, Pop MTL)
VI~ Jan 12th w/ Molo Bain
VII~ Jan 19th w/ Jonathan AFlyIsOnTheWall, Heidy Pinet
VIII~ Jan 26th
IX~ Feb 2nd
X~ Feb 9th w/ Masala
XI~ Feb 16thw/ E.C.P.
XII~ Feb 23rd
XIII~ Mar 1st
XIV~ Mar 8th w/ Mr. Vain
XV~ Mar 15th IDES OF MARCH w/ DJ Deadbeat Dad
XVI~ Mar 22nd
XVII~ Mar 29th
XVIII~ Apr 5th
XIX~ Apr 12th w/ Alexander Buckiewicz-Smith (ABS)
XX~ Apr 19th w/ 5 hours of Jay Watts III
XXI~ Apr 26th w/ Mark Slutsky
XXII~ May 3rd w/ Justin Time
XXIII~ May 10 Space Dust w/ Deadbeat Dad
XXIV~ May 17 Goodbye Mark D.
XXV~ May 24 Simon Nixon (Royal Mountain Band)
XXVI~ May 31 5 hours of Jay Watts III
XXVII~ June 7 Steven Balogh (Anemones), Joshua Stevenson (Jackie O Motherfucker), Jay Watts III, Michelle Fritzi Adelman

Korova is located at 3908 St. Laurent, all this happens on Saturdays, starting at 10pm, and it's free. Check out the Facebook group for more detail information.

Square Quotes: Montreal Music Podcast

Square Quotes
Episode 2: Naders of the Hart

In Episode 2 of Square Quotes, Alexander Buckiewicz-Smith and Jay Watts III continue with extended coverage of the Suoni per il Popolo festival, interviewing artist and musician Grant Hart formerly of Husker Du, and Nova Mob, now solo; and local sculptor, musician and the Rum Tum Tiger of the Mile End, Nader Hassan.

Besides those in-depth portraits, there are songs from The Cake, criminally under-rated group The Feelies, Lord Kitchener, and Barcelona's one-man neo-tropicalia explosion El Guincho. We also recorded local author Adam Gollner, at the launch of his new book on fruit obsessives, “The Fruit Hunters” (at Drawn & Quarterly), as he told the crowd about how some time in Borneo led him to chase after the lady fruit, the famed Coco de Mer, lodoicea/a really crazy fruit.

Square Quotes: Montreal Arts, Music & Culture Podcast

Square Quotes Podcast, Episode 1

In this inaugural episode of Square Quotes, hosts Alexander Buckiewicz-Smith and Jay Watts III fumble their way through two interviews, while producer Ali Rahman wonders what exactly it is that he’s got himself in to.

The two guests, gracious and forgiving to a fault, were Montrealer Sam Shalabi and Jon Fall Ryan of Brooklyn’s electronic noise-improv sextet, Excepter, both of which will be performing in Montreal as part of the Suoni per il Popolo festival.

The episode features contributions from both interviewed artists, as well as three selections of music picked by the hosts in their quest for obscurantist internet supremacy. Thrill to the sounds of “Guzar Jaye Din,” a Bollywood song from the film “Annadata;” get girl crazy with Chuck Jackson as he exalts the fairer sex in “Girls, Girls, Girls;” and smother yourself in sentimental kitsch with the Portuguesed-American Jeanette as she runs us through “Porque Te Vas.”

More episodes to come, as ABS and JW3 find their footing, and producer Ali continues fretting.

The All-Rounder: Korova Saturdays in Montreal

Since last fall, I've been DJing on Saturday nights at Korova here in Montreal. Korova is a 2nd floor bar at 3908 St. Laurent, just above the newly renovated Copacabana, and while it's not the best-looking bar in the city - more like a pretty cute friend who knows how to dress well - and that hand-dryer has yet to be fixed, despite numerous promises from the proprietors, it's received nods of approval from such reputable judges of character as The New York Times and uh, Nylon Magazine.

I find the staff awesome and the people who come there, the majority of which I don't know, to be receptive. Anyway, the format's pretty simple - fun selections of dance-oriented music from all genres with an ear towards Italo, disco, and vintage electro and boogie.

In the previous 24 Saturdays we've have had plenty of guests, too: Insomniak, Alexander Buckiewicz-Smith (ABS), Patrick North (S.L.U.M.), Khiasma (Baile MTL), Alexandre Pare, Molo Bain, A Fly Is On The Wall, Heidy Pinet, JP Emond (Masala, CISM), Etienne Cote-Paluck (ECP), Cederic Pilon (Mr. Vain), Chris Hill (Deadbeat Dad), Mark Slutsky, and Justin Time.

If you're interested, there's a Facebook group or just come down. Doors are at 22h and there's no cover.

Such Good Friends

Thursday, May 22
William de Samman
Chanteclair
Jay Watts III
Salon Officiel
351 rue Roy est
Montreal, QC
No cover charge, 22h

Tiring or disquieting?

Just take a look around, do you know that many exceptional human beings? Self-actualized uber-mensch sharing the staircase in your crumbling apartment block? Wise sages bagging your groceries? (If that kid was so wise, you think she’d mix put cans of tuna on top of my hothouse tomatoes?)

Sammy Sandala gets up in Kenneth Brannagh's face when discussing the tiring matter of his reincarnation.

Popth 6th!

Pop Montreal's 6th annual festival is mere weeks away, meaning that, once again, it's time to book off work, stock your cabinet with electrolyte-replenishing goods, and make some serious charts and schedules to ensure you'll be able to see at least a portion of what you want to this year.

The schedule's already up on their main page, and just going through it, there are a couple of stand-out shows... Octogenarian comedian Mort Sahl, the Montreal-born pioneer of intelligent stand-up comedy and an all-around pleasant fellow is one of my personal highlights, but other, less greying figures and groups will receive my attention, as well.

The release of the program this year will lead to another crop of upset band-handlers and confused festival-attendees, like any year, but (full disclosure here: I wrote a couple of them), this writer took particular care not to be as snarky as in years past, attributing his missing the deadline that pulling-many-punches approach.

I'm going to try my hand at some festival coverage this year, rather than ending up in the hospital half-way through (last year), or blindly drinking my way through out it (last year and previous years). There are scores to be settled, bands to mock, and, hey, even some to champion, too! Osheaga presented an opportunity, but any review of that would somehow lack all the extraneous happenings, occurences, mistakes and everything else that go into making Pop the distinctly more enjoyable festival. "I saw Peter, Bjorn & John in a field with a bunch of other people and we were worried about rain, but it was sunny" is as fine a distillation of the experience as any other, no?

One big surprise for me this year is the evident lack of a SLUM showcase, but maybe I'm not looking close enough. First day highlights include Vancouver drone-o-morphic psych outfit Anemones at one venue and Caribou at another, at the same time. (What gives?)

There'll be more within the next couple of days, including a rigorous plan of attack (in that classical Goldkicks style, natch), choose-yr-own-adventure schedules, loads of self-serving blogging and more contributors... In the meantime, a couple of songs kicking around: I'm far too lazy to upload anything else.

Carly Simon Why (12-inch Extended Mix)

Zdar How Do You See Me Now?

Maestro Fresh Wes - Poetry Is Black

I don't care to tackle the lyrical conceit of the good Maestro's Poetry Is Black, primarily because my appreciation of hip hop has little to do with it as a poetic form, and also because it's dated ("1991, son, and that's how I'm livin'"), de-fanged and cliched enough to provoke nothing more than a smirk, but the quick-clipped pace, rolling bass, and trumpet swells of a song like this, so indigenous to the hip-house era of the early 90s, sounds fresher and fresher after a year or so of being assaulted by the unholy union of French Touch house and blog-friendly hip hop.

Dante Decarro (Wolf Parade guitarist and Hot Hot Heat alumni) has put out the last Daddy's Hands album, Welcome Kings on his south-island-based record label, Kill Devil Hills Records. Long-awaited. Order here.

More Baile Montreal stuff coming up... The 9th volume will be on Saturday, March 3rd at Zoobizarre. Usual info & some mixes on the myspace. For previews of what you'll hear, check out what Guillaume & JP have been working on, on the Masalacism blog.

BAILE MTL 6 w/ Paul Devro

Saturday, December 2nd @ Zoobizarre, 6388 St. Hubert (Metro Beaubien)

The 6th volume. Considering how packed it was for the last two volumes, we're encouraging peolpe to show up early and prepared for top level booty bass.

Special guest Paul Devro (Mad Decent, SLUM) will be flying in from Vancouver.

As well, we'll also have copies of the first BAILE MTL mix-tape, "Baboon", with selections from JP, Guillaume and Jay from Ivory Temple; and mixing by Guillaume.



Doors 22h, $5
Zoobizarre - 6388 St. Hubert, Metro Beaubien

Baile Funk Volume 5.

Saturday, August 26th @ Zoobizarre, 6388 St. Hubert (Metro Beaubien)

Back for the fifth installment, Montreal's premiere hi-cut blend of funk carioca, international booty beats and post-tropicalia dancehall nonsense, now in full technicolour and stereophonic sound. DJing by that master of all forms of radio (AM, FM, shortwave, internet) MASALA (masalacism.blogspot.com), and IVORY TEMPLE (myspace.com/ivorytemple), and 21st century video projection magic. Globe-trotting, genre-hopping, and saliva-swapping with: baile funk, desi beats, Miami Bass, d. south, Washington Go Go, soca, reggaeton, electro, soul, funk, hip house, etc.



portes 22h, $3
Zoobizarre - 6388 St. Hubert, Metro Beaubien

Baile Funk Volume 4.

Saturday, August 26th @ Zoobizarre, 6388 St. Hubert (Metro Beaubien)

Much-ballyhooed, fourth volume of this event. This promises to be going off bigger than last time, and with more bar staff this time, so you won't have to wait twenty minutes in line for a little juice. Guillaume De Couflet II will, of course, be offering up Brazilian cuts and the rest, while JP and myself take on the rest of the globe. Hopefully a perfect appetizer for the following weekend, with MEG Fest nouveau-French-touch shindig going down. (Honary Franco Uffie, Feadz, Ghislain's set with live drummer(!), Busy P, SebastiAn, DJ Medhi, Teki from TTC, Para One!)

And a little bit in the future, on the fifth-year birthday tip, Pop Montreal gets too big for its britches with Goldkixx-approved programming (_urtis _odka?, _losstradamus?, _id _ister?), between the dates of October 4th and 8th. Sleep less!

Hood Rat, Hood Rat, Hoochie Mama...

2 Live Crew - Hoochie Mama.mp3

I first encountered 2 Live Crew in elementary school, right about the time the group was gaining national notoriety for, uhh, being banned in Boston or something. I don't remember the details, I just remember that it was the sort of thing that corrupted youth, and being youthful, I was eager as hell to hear it. Strange that a little bit of controversy around some regional hip-hop group could result in a 8 and 9 year old kids actively seeking it out in a small town in northern British Columbia, about as far from Miami as one can get in North America without running into an eskimo. Also very strange that the Bibliotheque Nationale here in Montreal has two copies of 2 Live Crew's Greatest Hits Volume 2... (2 Volumes?)

Hoochie Mama is dirty, as expected, with references to coochies, 69s, hoodrats, hot pants, booties and all the rest... Compared to Me So Horny (the sequel of which was the embarassing satire on Presidential sexual indiscretion, Bill So Horny), this is bouncier, funnier, and definetly a fine summer track, the sampling owes a bit to Eric B. & Rakim, to my mind, too.

Ridin' Dirty...

Missy Elliot vs. M-Flo - AstroDutch Mix.mp3

Los Angeles, California's Siik (thanks for Jon Meyer's jam support on this, he shoved this over my way) throws up a well-flushed out remix here, a little too cluttered for my girlfriend but dynamite to my ears.

Guillaume and I, under our nom de chanson IVORY TEMPLE were defeated soundly a couple of weeks back at the 2nd iPod Battle (the first one is held in ), not even making it past the first round. There were rumblings that our mixer didn't have any bass, so we're going to be back for the next installment, whenever that happens. Beyond my whining (I'm not a sore loser, really!), I'm encouraging you to check out what these kids are up to, because it was fun, it will be fun, and it's encouraging to see some Anglo and Franco hybridization in this city. Chroniclers of MTL nightlife, 33mtl have some pictures and videos of the whole shindig, which was held in the somewhat decrepit Union Francais building in Old Montreal.

Also on our plate, another BAILEFUNKMTL night on Sunday, June 25th at Zoobizarre, a Bmore mix from Guillaume, and an IVORYTEMPLE summer mixtape.

June 2nd Partial Playlist

Shut Up Bitch Lil' Kim
Holla At Me DJ Khaled
Muscolor ft. TTC Para One
Astrodutch (Siik Remix) Missy Elliot
I Ting (Jools MF Remix) Amerie
Gold Lion (Optimo Remix) YYYs
Wake Up Lo Fi FNK
How Do U See Me Now? Zdar
Can't Go For That PJ Pooterhoots
Everything Is Everything Phoenix
Some Indulgence The Embassy
Fa Fa Fa Datarock
Hate Fuck Mt. Sims
Star Track Rod Lee
I Love Your Smile (Bmore Remix) Shaunice
Overnight Star Flosstradamus
Bojangles Tittsworth
Take Me Noisy Bunch Remix
McNasty Filth Jaylib ft. Jay Dilla
Be Easy Ghostface Killah
Gangsta Boogie Plantlife
Gimme That Nut Eazy E
Clek Clek Boum Voltair
Son Do Braza Braza
Melo de Estudante Tetive
Baile (Sp. Rock Baile) Flosstradamus


...and then Guillaume's handwriting goes all crazy...


Broke Ass Home DJ Ayres
....? Noisy Bunch
Boss Of Me Kevin Swift
Jeffersons Tittsworth
Respect (24 Hrs) Aretha Franklin
Saian ft. RZA, Ghostface
We Got Our Own Thing (Smalltown DJs Remix) Heavy D

Reduce The Friction...

Eric B & Rakim - Let The Rhythm Hit Em (Omega One Remix).mp3

From DJ Ayres' The Rub: It's The Motherfucking Remix Vol. 2, a creepy as hell Omega One mix, well-suited for late-night strolling back from whatever party. Thank god summer's here, huh? The forward-pushing triumvirate of The Rub (DJ Ayres, Cosmo Baker and DJ Eleven) will be here in Montreal on June 4th at Club 1234, a sure-sign that it really is summer here.

Square Pegs.

Shapes And Sizes - Island's Gone Bad.mp3

I'm off to Hawaii to work on an article about Queen Lili'uokalani's songbook and Hawaiian nationalism, but before I go, I'll be checking out Victoria's chipper and rose-cheeked pop quartet Shapes & Sizes, who'll be stopping by Casa Del Popolo tonight. I long ago promised to write something about them and their Canadian baroque pop brethren: The Paper Cranes, The Dymaxions, and Code Pie, but that'll have to wait. For now, here's a lament for the departed ex-pats of Victoria, BC, long may they suffer.

My first column in the Mirror just appeared today. Scope out at your own risk!

Weekend Double Dosing

The Embassy - Some Indulgence.mp3

Sweden's The Embassy sort of passed me by. Albums in 2002 and 2005 won over Sweden, but unlike minimal design at bargain prices, sensible automobiles, and blonde pop chanteuses, they never seemed to make it over the pond.

The Embassy trade on the sort of late New Order-esque sophisto-Euro-pop production (a solid base of acoustic guitars, chimes, crystalline oohs and ahhs) that activates my musical sweet-tooth (and may bring up a bit of something in the back of the throat along with memories of Erasure and The Pet Shop Boys for some of you). Dreamy-yacht-rock may be perfectly suited for car commercials (the hidden historical aim of indie rock's progression, synthesis to thesis and antithesis), but it's done without the bad faith or second-guessing that hounds say, graduates of Evergreen College. Ambitious feel-good pop music best played on your stolen Bang & Olufsen turntable.

Band Website or Label Website

Primal Scream - Accelerator.mp3

To cleanse the palate, similar to a whiff of coffee beans, here's a song originating from a similar school (Creating A Universe Within A Studio), but arrives at different conclusions... Primal Scream, who've pretty much cemented their reputation as The Only Supergroup Worth Talking About with members like Mani (formerly of the Stone Roses), Kevin Shields, and collaborations with Two-Long Swordsmen, Kate Moss (in her pre-Doherty days) and many more, are set to release a new album in May titled Riot City Blues, which will add to the roll-call of British music's leading lights by featuring contributions from Echo & The Bunnymen's Will Sergeant, The Bad Seeds' Warren Ellis, and Alison Mosshart from The Kills.

This track is from 2000's skull-cracking XTRMNTR, which I'd argue is the most completely realized statement articulating PS' mission, encapsulating most of what was worthwhile from the various musical subcultures they toyed with in the 90s while remaining. It could do without Pills' hip-hop stylings, though.

On another note, I've got a column in the Mirror that's starting this week. No name as of yet, still sussing that out, but the focus will be on mp3s, blogs, and other aspects related to music online. Montrealers can read it next Thursday, gratuit.

Gotta Get Your Love

Clyde Alexander & Sanction - Gotta Get Your Love.mp3

A couple of years back I picked up the spectacular compilation Disco Juice, a double-LP featuring selections from Harlem's P&P Records, including Jesse Gould's Out Of Work and L.J. Waiters' Hooked On Your Line.

The first cut on side C is the one above: Gotta Get Your Love, recorded by Gary Davis in 1979, by Clyde Alexander & Sanction, Sanction (a group featuring Gary and his younger brother Wendell). A choice song in the UK's Northern Soul scene, this track is a killer slice of gritty disco that (thankfully) lacks the sheen of overproduced string sections and too chirpy back-up singers. Beyond the sizzling horn section, this track kills it for a number of other reasons - the up-in-the-mix rolling bassline, the stuttering snare break, and the chattering vocal interplay, touching off my fetish for songs that hint at a party setting (think Roxy Music) whether through champagne glasses clinking or general party sounds.

A strange aside to all of this, though it was released ostensibly as a track by (at the time) 15 year old vocalist Clyde Alexander, he barely appears on the track, his contributions lost far, far in the mix, while Rhonda Whaley's vocals dominate, the strange situation owing to a demand for exclusive contracts for performers only signed by Clyde. Quickly a choice song amongst DJs in the UK's Northern Soul scene, a second version was recorded by Gary Davis in 1982 using the same players (sans lil' Clyde, sadly) and self-released on Chocolate Star Records.

Grab The Comp Here

Disco Lazers... Ring My Bell.

Anita Ward - Ring My Bell (12 Inch Version).mp3

24 year old substitute teacher and gospel-trained singer Anita Ward scored a subsantial dancefloor burner with 1979's Ring My Bell. Originally penned as a teeny-bopper homage to telephone obsessed youngsters, and intended for 11 year old Stacy Lattisaw, it might not have been recorded by a reticient Ward were it not for Stax Records producer Frederick Knight's insistence. Hitting number one and holding for five months in the States (to say little of her impressive numbers in Britain, Canada, Europe and elsewhere), she toured heavily, before retiring back to teaching and motherhood.

Ward's soaring high-pitched vocals play off the cooing back-up singers, and the shuffle beat and disco lazers make this the sort of jubiliant pop song that often seems woefully underrepresented when journos, "Remember The 70s" VH1 shows and others look back at the "disco era." Far from the presumed homogenity of gawdy fabrics and banal club decadence, there was an inventiveness and spirit in a lot of the music missing from mainstream rock music at that time*. It's not necessarily a forgotten classic (Ward performed this at New Year's Eve in New York in 2000, there have been a whole slab of remixes floating about), but it's a choice one, on par with Clyde Alexander's Gotta Get Your Love, another one of my faves that I'll feature tomorrow.



*Yes, yes, I realize I'm pretty much preaching to the converted here, I don't know that many people who fly the rockist flag all that much, not even the Mojo Magazine tribe members, but I'm too lazy to fabricate any other intellectual/historical context to justify my affection for this song with.

IVORY TEMPLE will be filling in the blanks between soundchecks and sets and bathroom runs on Wednesday night at Club Lambi (4465 St. Laurent) as Scandinavian electro-popper Annie return to Montreal. Given that she's got a higher profile than at the time of last year's Pop Montreal festival, one would expect a little more people than the music critics and forward-thinking St. Catherine Villagers that made up the bulk of the audience at that point.

Baltimore Club-It: Fuck You Up Like A Percoset

Spank Rock - Sweet Talk.mp3

Hotly anticipating their return to Montreal in just over a month, I've been periodically squealing in delight since partner-in-crime Guillaume (aka G'Homme) played this for me barrelling down Ste. Catherine last week. Baltimore-based Spank Rock's Sweet Talk hits similar po-funk spots as bi-coastalians !!! or AreYouFamiliar faves Velella Velella: a head-nodding, arm-thrusting number that finishes with a cascading schoolgirl chant, leavened with sweet percussion and their patented brash lyric stylings...

Heads would do well to check out a Spankrock video hosted by the BigDada crew, featuring some extensive MTL metro action, including a detailed explanation of the ACT. It's here in Quicktime format.

Montreal, QC
Thursday, April 12th
Spankrock, Devlin & Darko et guests
@ Main Hall (5390 St. Laurent)
$12 adv/$15 door

Everybody's favourite jet-set juvenile Douglas Ko of SLUM fame had 'em over in Vancouver last month, and from all accounts, it was incredible. Now, someone throw Think About Life on this bill!

Order Spankrock from BIG DADA or TurntableLab if you're so inclined.

Goldkixx II

GOLDKIXX II IS THIS WAY
...sorry about the disappearing act...

Uffie Pops...

Uffie - Ready To Uff.mp3

Cut-to-shape perfect bio: pint-sized female rapper with a foul mouth, originally from Miami (f'real?), worked with Feadz (that's her boypal, sorry, fellas), remixes by Mr. Oizo and SebastiAn, a 12" (Pop The Glock) released on Pedro Winter's Ed Banger Records, and all of 19 years old. This is cross-continental stumble-hop with RapMaster synth-estra hits, which gives me high hopes for the upcoming full-length. Jesus, with the exception of Poirier, Ghostface & Spankrock, the only new hip-hop I've been really excited about has been from Europe (Modeselektor, Roots Manuva, TTC, et al.), huh?

Unfortunately the Uffie/Mr.Oizo/Feadz tour wasn't able to stop by Montreal this time given the short notice, but I'm hopeful that Uffie will be here sometime soon. MEG, perhaps?

Curious nerds can drop paypal euro$ at ARCADEMODE, or get creep-like at her myspace page.

Goldkixx II: Yours, Mine, It's All About Crime.

Goldkicks was getting a bit sluggish, owing to its advanced age and the burden of extensive archives of drunken rambling, half-baked commentary and earnest pleas to attend various DJ nights.. Here's hoping that version 2 will prove to be a more focused effort.

Guillaume Decouflet and myself are DJing under the moniker IVORY TEMPLE and have some more nights and gigs coming up, as you can see on the top-left. Hook us up on the myspace if you're so inclined.

I'll be in Vancouver for a couple of nights (March 31st and April 12th) on my way to and from Hawaii. Anyone with points to check out in Maui, let me know, and I'll see a lot of you V-couvs, however briefly, soon!

A couple of points of interest over the next week or so... Ghetto-tech-er Disco D at Kop Shop on Friday. Tonight's a new PeerPressure night @ Blizzarts... I'll be recovering at home, but it should be good. If you're in the same state as me, stay home and check out my man Alex' show on McGill's threatened station, CKUT 90.3, midnight - 2 am.

Sailor White

Sailor White - Mortimer Pass.mp3
Sailor White - In The Country.mp3

Sailor White is a project by the man better known to Montrealers as Crawdaddy Simon, a real mensch who displays a breath of knowledge on many bands and albums garage, psych, punk, pop and thus related that shames even the most in-tune autodidact (you need a comprehensive breakdown on the hidden treasures of the Graf Zeppelin or The Misunderstood discographies? He's your man!). He puts that expertise to good use in monthly DJ gigs (called "the best rock n' roll DJ in town" by wiley ol' codger Jonathan Cummins in the pages of the Montreal Mirror), and now I've got a couple of four-track demos from a new project he's working on titled Sailor White that I've been quite excited about since I was made aware of 'em.

Fans of that Heron song Yellow Roses that I posted a while back will find a similar whiff of the pastoral in the instrumental Mortimer Pass, which could just as well have been recorded in a meadow, too. Whistfully melodic, it's the sort of song that one hopes to have playing on a lazy summer morning. In The Country is a paean to the inherent pleasure of escaping the city that's been set to bongos, acoustic and electric guitars that kicks it up with a great rolling guitar lead before the chorus' reprise.

When I asked Simon about other things he's been involved, he mentioned a "modest contribution on acoustic guitar to the new album (Red Rayon Flower, Night Beneath The Sea) by Rivers & Mountains alumni Emerald Cloud Cobra". (There's actually a launch for that album here in Montreal at Toc Toc (6091 ave du Parc) this Friday. More info on the album, check here.)

Ladies, Simon is single and an Aquarius...

Punters, drinkers, music fans and potential suitors (suitresses?) should check out his upcoming DJ at Casa Del Popolo (4873 St. Laurent) on February 7th. Get in touch with him through his myspace page, check out some more songs and bug him to put together a band for some live performances. A little caveat: I've already called dibs on playing the bongos. Maybe you could play flute?

Strangely, Jaime over at the always-on-it, must-read Daughters of Invention blog has a post up with a couple of mp3s from Hamilton band Sailboats Are White. February 1st: a nautical sorta-day. (SAILBOATS! SAILBOATS! NOT SAILORS! SAILORS CAN BE WHITE OR BLACK OR RED OR YELLOW OR STRANGELY GREY IF THEY'D REALLY LIKE TO BE! IN FACT, ON CERTAIN TRIPS IN TREACHEROUS WATERS, SAILORS CAN BE GREEN IN THE GILLS!)

Parricide v1.02.1 Jordan Robson-Cramer et Mathieu Malouf

MAGIC WEAPON - Fireflies.mp3

As I'd promised below, here's a new track from MAGIC WEAPON, which is the nom de chanson recently adopted by Mathieu Malouf and Jordan Robson-Cramer. You'll remember them from Parricide v1.02, Jordan is the multi-instrumentalist who's also doing time with Sunset Rubdown (who'll be on tour with Frog Eyes later this spring and have a new EP out on Global Symphonic) as well as Boite-Noire's friendliest clerk, and Mathieu is the curator of Concordia's Cafe X Gallery and master of . There's a little touch of the same analogue-synth stutter rap style a la Ratatat in this song, and that hook at the end is one of the catchiest I've heard in a long-time, I hope it segues into a fully-blown song on the next track. Magic Weapon now has a name, a Myspace page, the love of adoring fans, and hopefully some shows scheduled in the future.

Bonus Mp3s To Compensate For My Lack of Updates
The Coachmen - Household Word.mp3 (for Dan)
Josef K - Sorry For Laughing.mp3
Paul Haig - Ghostrider.mp3 *
Orange Juice - Louise Louise.mp3
Book of Lists - Points of Arrival and Departure.mp3 +


* Paul Haig was the frontman of Postcard Records' Josef K. This version, most people will agree, is far superior to The Rollins Band's unfortunate butchering of the track on the soundtrack to The Crow.
+ I've written about them before - The Book of Lists are one of my favourite bands in Vancouver, if not Canada, right now. Fronted by former Radio Berlin guitarist and vocalist Chris Frey (also, one hell of a photographer and swell guy), let's hope a full-length to follow up last year's superb EP Red Arrows shows up soon.

Parricide v1.03: Telefauna

An ambitious pop quartet running Devo and genre-specific pop allusions (that Cultural Studies degree has real-world applications?) through lo-fi circuitboards, Telefauna is another entity making castles in the early 20s sandbox, applying a rare eye for technique and craft that isn't obsessive (fourty guitars layered through your four-track does not an album make), or half-assed, but made in the same spirit as The Go! Team. At last year's Pop Montreal they packed PreLoved's in-store with an enthusiastic set hampered only slightly by a number of tech. difficulties (crappy mic stands, a bitchy and unco-operative drum machine) and won over the crowd, and this year promises more good things for the kids, who package up a lot of promise, talent, wit and good natured fun. Truly!

Telefauna - Phantom Limb

Telefauna's First EP was self-released late last year, a dynamite stick of a four-song release packed with ideas, hooks and that cleverly knicked production techniques from hip-hop's leading lights. Culturally aware, but not trapped in some nightmarish feedback loop, it was a promising first shot from their camp, refugees from the Thunder Bay gulag. What's the last thing good to come out of T. Bay since domestic comic strip For Better Or For Worse? Is that even from there? Do I keep making the same unfunny and incorrect joke over and over again? Phantom Limb is one of the stand-out tracks on the EP, featuring a percussive wah-wah rhythm guitar, analogue synth-stabs which transform into octave jumping and rolling basslines, that form the basis of a pretty stomping song that ends in over-dubbed arpeggio. Sweet.

Telefauna - The Latest Information (Booji Boy Version)

This song's not a single from a recording session just completed with Graham Van Pelt, whom you'll remember from Parricide v1.01., but they will be working with him in the future. Of The Latest Information (Booji Boy Version), Tyler says it "might just be a single, or if it stands up, we may rework it" for a new release, set to see the light of day in 3 or 4 months. It satiates the market's demand for melodies based on the the Arabic scale and rhythms, which grew out of the cultural uncertainty citizens of the West now feel after 9/11. Like Aladdin, which articulated the dearly held myths about the Middle East and Arabic culture of many North Americans. That is, there are genies (mostly wacky, sometimes evil), and there are royal families, and also, shady merchants. Everyone wears billowing and pleated pantaloons.

As befits a bunch of youngsters who've yet to have their dreams dashed on the jagged rocks of reality or post-graduate aimlessness (I didn't even get that far!), they cast their talents far and wide: front-man Adam Waito devotes some of his time to the handsomely-designed gender studies journal G-Eunuch; Tyler Rauman is an accomplished illustrator who's hand can be seen behind some of the more phantasmical posters around town (get a glimpse here); Katherine Peacock has her own project, the psych-pop cabaret group Dorian Hatchet; and Ian Goodman, well, peek over at his myspace page for the details on that...

Check out more mp3s and buy their EP at www.telefauna.com.

Flaky Disco!

Alex Lemieux, one of the premier curators of left-field disco at Zoobizarre (amongst many of the other hats he wears - Les Georges Leningrad manager, MEG programmer, occasional bartender, promoter of the Champagne & Sparks cocktail) just started up the Flaky Disco blog. Witness!

Parricide v1.02: Jordan Robson-Cramer

I've known Jordan Robson-Cramer for a number of years now - first encountering him as the precocious youngster who showcased a Sven-Gali like mastery of his first high-school band, whom I caught playing beside city hall in the summer of 2001, and from there as excitable contributor to bands and projects in Victoria (Short Pants Romance1, for one), who maintained a studio in the basement of his mother's suburban home, and was often spotted with a bag of candy in his hand and a whole smattering of enthusiastic opinions on music he was discovering. 21st Century Fox, a small studio project, showcased a love of frantic, neu!-wave leaning art rock harkening back to the better elements of The VSS' catalogue (Nervous Circuits!), and was sold as a CD-R at Ditch Records.

Jordan, at left, with Toronto's favourite electrician, Derek. Note to Jordan's mother: he does not smoke.

Like many good people Victorian, he's since moved to Montreal, making himself known as probably the only one of the ex-pats who's French-speaking, tinkering a bit under the moniker XY Lover, and more recently, playing with fellow multi-instrumentalist Mathieu Malouf (a native Montrealer who has a knack for coining phrases that sound as if they belong in Damio Suzuki's lyric book) and devoting time to Sunset Rubdown, which is Spencer Krug of Wolf Parade's other project.2

X Y Lover - Expand Your Instants Into Oblivion

Expand Your Instants Into Oblivion fits handsomely into an aesthetic school of artists that are re-examining the ambient pop and studio wizardry of My Bloody Valentine. Like Animal Collective and Caribou, this is richly textured ear-candy: Spector-esque production techniques are utilized to force effects-heavy guitars and manipulated sheets of white-noise into fulgent waves, dreamy and rhapsodic.

X Y Lover - Your Parents' Funeral

Another fine example of JRC's studio and compositional skills, Your Parents' Funeral is a drugged and heady two minute trip that comes alive with a pair of headphones. The overdubbed half-mumbled vocals, lilting guitar lines (like that bit in Television's Marquee Moon, I envision cherry blossoms falling... Really!) and extra percussion that appear halfway through the song, as instruments and tracks slowly fade out, are the key components in this, which feels like an excerpt for a larger work that stands well enough alone.

(More tracks from X Y Lover are available on his New Music Canada site.)

I'll put a couple of more tracks within the next few weeks, specifically ones from the project that Jordan and Mathieu are involved in, after they're done adding vocals and polishing them up.

1. Short Pants Romance, named after a line in Dylan's Subterranean Homesick Blues, feat. Arlen Thompson of Wolf Parade as the initial drummer, after a couple of tumultuous years morphed into Lakeboat.

2. Sunset Rubdown just finished recording 11 songs with Jace Lacek of The Besnard Lakes at his Break Glass Studios (where the beds for the Islands record where recorded), and from a sneak preview I've heard, it's going to be one of the highlights of 2006. Absolutely Kosher will be dropping that on May 2nd of this year, to coincide with their tour with critical and audience faves Frog Eyes.

Friday Tracks.

Television - Marquee Moon (Brian Eno demo version)
The Coachmen Thurston's Song

Two stellar tracks from around the same time, same place, featuring wonderful guitar noodling. Now, I've never been a Sonic Youth fan, but I do tendency to date them (or recovering ones at least), and fans will note that The Coachmen were one of the first groups that Thurston Moore played in. My friend Dan (Fortunato), an SY fan I didn't date, had The Coachmen record a couple of years back when I was living in Victoria, but I only listened to it once and the group faded from my mind until recently.

Described by Kim Gordon as the "tallest band in the world," the group broke up the very night that Gordon and Moore met. As you can tell from above, the Lou Reed-like vocals and rambling guitar leads, mirrored what Orange Juice was doing around the same time, albeit an ocean away, and the group responsible for the song posted above. (The Royal Art Lodge associated Montreal-based group Bold Saber remind me a lot of them, too.)

Did 1/2 of MSTRKRFT pinch the moniker Girls Are Short from The Coachmen song of the same name? Anyone?

Parricide v1.01

Mathieu Malouf expends much energy attempting to wrestle the title of Master of the Melodica from Augustus Pablo.

When James Murphy so eloquently gave a voice and beat to the vulnerability and fear of obsolescence housed in the mind of the aging hipster in LCD Soundsystem's Losing My Edge, at least a couple of us laughed along while secretly shuddering inside, betraying a latent fear of the hungry young, whom, while appearing the wholesome, apple-cheeked and milk-fed youths fresh from suburban enclaves outside mid-sized Canadian cities, weren't averse to baring their teeth and chewing up their elders. What of history? It couldn't be so irrelevant, the projects and bands and feuds and all that ate up so many hours and so many dollars from trust-funds and student loans and minimum wage jobs, could it? Well, yeah, kind of, I guess.

The specific cultural craving for novelty in place of innovation in an independent music scene demands the slaughtering of sacred cows moments after they cease being calves, which, to my mind, is a positive thing. Better the cows graze off in search of the greener pastures of middle-aged responsibility and stable, well-paying vocations than for them to hang around, embarassingly drunk and lowering a leacherous eye towards the nubilians. And thankfully, in Montreal, the elders can take solace in knowing that though these kids might not show sufficient respect for the monument to human ingenuity and creativity that say, Sofa's Grey album is, they've got their own shit going on, and in many cases, it's good.

So, over the next couple of days I'm going to put up some mp3s and blurbs about newer Montreal artists who're doing inventive and awesome things, fashioning their own aesthetic and maybe occasionally sticking it to the aged.

Graham busts it in a typically handsome sweater.
Miracle Fortress - Watery Grave
Miracle Fortress - Eschatology
Think About Life - Snowee Caterpillars

The first artist I'll mention is Graham Van Pelt. The tall fellow with the shock of red hair sits behind the controls of his Miracle Fortress project, in addition to co-piloting Think About Life, providing excellent soundguy skills, and being a member of the Friendship Cove household/venue/conceptual space. Any listeners to Andrew Rose's Pop and podcasts will recognize the above names, and may have even witnessed Graham's recent performance at the For The Kittens Who Lost Their Mittens benefit in December.

Graham's songs are thoughtfully composed and home-recorded, they bounce like all good pop music should, and also present a variation on the ubiquitious (and oft-times poorly executed) genre of casio-pop that interacts with some of its unspoken rules, without sacrificing craftmanship or veering off into kitsch.

Watery Grave is a sea-shanty or stumbling waltz, comprised of sparring melody lines, vocal overdubs and Glass-ian arpeggiation that's half exubriant pop song, half expansive soundscape. Curiously, Eschatology begins with a beat more than familiar to the above-mentioned James Murphy. Note the bass line and hyper-active kick drum!

If you're interested in acquiring a copy of the EP, go check out Graham's myspace page for ordering info.

Danava, Soaring... A Race Of Power-Seeking Giants.

Danava - By The Mark
Danava - Silver Shock

Fronted by the newest member of Glass Candy & The Shattered Theatre, the scarecrow-voiced Dusty Sparkles, Danava (formerly Walk Walk Pink) are a Portland-based psych and glam group that wields a mighty sword, indeed. Forged in the flames (keeping with the clunky metaphor here) of myth-loving 70s Anglo-rock (Yes, Sabbath, Hawkwind...) they pull it off admirably, lo-fi production complimenting the group's sonic ambitions (plenty of stereo-pans, overdubs, fuzzed out guitars).

I have a soft-spot in my heart for this sort of epic metal-tinged rock, but a lot of bands seem to steal too freely from the Iron Maiden catalogue, and, even worse than that, from the bloated studio production and convoluted myth-matching (Mr. Bolan can take responsibility for that, being the master of nonsensical nomenclature), so much so that it marks their endeavours as costly, sub-par wankery. Danava are tinged with that tooth-rotting nostalgia I demand out of so much of my music (and that characterizes a lot of the great music from that San Diego to San Francisco to Portland post-Gravity Records diaspora), but seem fresh, not anachronistic. And where Black Mountain have the tendency to boogie, roll joints in fields and play bongoes, members of Danava more than likely prefer to avoid the sun.

These two songs are from a tour demo - with a new double album in the works (they're going into the studio in the next couple of months) and some touring, they'll be bringing salvation to the sexually and sonically confused kids who cower in high school art rooms across the midwest.

. . . . . . . . . . . . N o t e s . . . . . . . . . . .

Fellow Montreal-er Justin at A Boy & His Blog has a couple of tracks from the upcoming Pink Mountaintops EP.

Hey hey to Marc at Tonight Let's Dance for the link!

The Mirror's 2006 Noisemakers issue is out at deps and cafes everywhere in the city as of today, and manages to get a couple of things right - notably the inclusion of favoured Goldkixx musicians The Besnard Lakes and Tony Ezzy (which reminds me, I've got some mp3s to put up.).