Get To Know Your Bixi Rider

Nevermind about dogs you can ride, let's talk Bixi. Montreal's own bicycle-taxi system, The Bixi, has been keeping me laughing since I first saw one of those things, and recently, I've become a bit obsessed with the Bixi Lifestyle. So much so, that I'm about to go all Midnight Poutine and develop a new feature called Get To Know Your Bixi Rider, in which I adopt the traditional man-on-the-street approach and interview Bixi lovers, novices and afficianados alike about the Bixi: its culture and history, and the impact of the Bixi on the lives of those who ride Bixi.

Who is your typical Bixi rider? Is there even an average Bixi rider, or does the convenience and spirit of the Bixi transcend all barriers between people?

If Arrested Development were around today, Jeb would not ride a Segway. No. He would zoom around Orange County in comfort and style astride his Bixi.

Ex-patriate Frenchman cultural critic and blogger Fabien Loszach (of the Almost As Cool As Fighting blog) and I were taking the air, as it were, biking to see the MSO perform a number of crowd-pleasing favourites in Parc Ahuntsic on an overcast Thursday (that turned foul hours later), when he told me of the seminal indie-rock band, The Bixies and their sleeper-classic, Where is my Bike? A week later to the day, my bicycle would be gone - stolen from outside of my house, not 50 feet from a Bixi docking station. If it were a particularly slow newsweek, I imagine my conversion from 10-speed Plateau-ish cyclist to a full-on Bixi rider would earn me a place in the Montreal Gazette's lifestyle section - a wide-angle photograph of me crossing my arms by the spot where my bicycle was stolen under the headline, "Bike Bandits have this Boy Whistlin' Bixi."

From now on, whenever you think about Bixi (and trust me, you will), visit Goldkicks. In the coming weeks, we'll be talking to the people that make Bixi what it is, representatives of the Bixi subculture, Bixi detractors, and get to the bottom of the painfully unsuccessful and bizarre Bixi thefts. Bixi Branding - what is it, and does it work? Do you find the Bixi is compelling enough as a concept? Does it emotionally resonate with you, or is the Bixi Identity too utilitarian? Can a Bixi be sexy? All these questions will be answered, and new ones will undoubtedly arise, as we chart the exciting life and times of the Bixi.

Other Notes

Ali Rahman vs. Bobcat Goldthwait.

Chris Clark is King of the Contests, King of Christian Comedy, and Montreal's stealthiest publicist.

Bixi Buzz: Bixi Stations, Bixi THIS!, You're on a Bixi right now, Bixit iPhone App, Bixi Me iPhone App, Up-to-date Bixi Map, Bixi & Twitter: So 2009, Should Bixis Come With Helmets?, Bixi Video, Maclean's Magazine Does A Bixi Audio Tour, Are Bixis Bad For Small Business?.

Dogs You Can Ride

I was on a casual stroll down Van Horne avenue earlier this afternoon, on the hunt for a coffee, when I came across a giant Saint Bernard tied to a telephone pole outside of a grocery store. This Saint Bernard was at least the size of a pony, and therefore, I would imagine as ride-able as a pony. ("Can I ride a dog?," I thought. "Can I ride that dog?") It struck me that if one could somehow combined the ride-ability of the pony or horse with the love-ability and trustworthiness of the dog, well then, that ambitious breeder or marketer or trainer or what not would really have something. A dog-pony. A dog you can ride. Dogs you can ride. Ride-able dogs. Man's best friend, and man's best ride. Equestrianism has a whiff of hide-bound tradition and the static class society, not suitable for the democratic ethos of The New World, but dog-riding has the potential to be an accessible and affordable form of animal riding, if only someone were to step up and fulfill the need!

The riding animal or mount animal has been a part of civilization since the, er, dawn of civilization, and possibly before - from the Hindu & Buddhist Garuda (or Garula): a winged mythological creature; to ostriches, dromedaries, and elephants.



This sadistic little book cover above is, of course, nothing like what I was imagining in my head, and the image of a maniacal, wild-eyed cat driving a poor hound into the ground by the handle of his switch belongs to a different time, when peace between species was not so close at hand, as it is now, in the year 2008.



For years, clueless Irish Wolfhound owners* have done nothing but stand their Irish Wolfhounds on their hind legs to pose for illustrations, paintings or photographs, trying to prove some inane point about their dog's size, unaware of how much more impressive it would be to come trotting down main street astride their majestic beast. And for the Irish Wolf Hound? No more demeaning parlour tricks, no, the Irish Wolf Hound could hold head high, becoming part of a lineage that includes the mighty stallion and the regal elephant.

Do any of you know of any dogs that might be suitable for riding? Interested breeders, please get in touch. Can you ride a dog? Have you rode a dog before? Are you interested in buying a dog saddle?

I can and will ride a dog. I swear this now. Certain larger canines (Newfoundlanders, Dog of Berdoux, Bull Mastiffs) have been fitted with saddles like majestic mini-horses for the infirm, very young children, and certain elderly people with very frail bones to ride.

* A special thank you to Marion Elissalde, a dog-owner but not dog-rider, for suggesting Wolf Hounds.